Three Ways to Get over a Breakup: A Modern Approach (Part 2)

Rule number 2: Keep an eye on what you post online

After all the tears shed for lost love have been wept out and dried, the next stage of anger will inevitably come. You will be angry at yourself and at your "ex" for not succeeding. At some point, you will want to prove to him that everything is not so bad for you, or at least you were able to find the strength to move on. And here again, technology can do a disservice, namely, Facebook statuses or Gmail chat. The status "I can't wait to be with Him tonight" and the photos of you hugging a cute but very casual acquaintance are those petty attempts at revenge that are more likely to drag you back into a state of melancholy and depression than help you get out of it. It's easy to convince yourself that you're done with your past relationships, because you see other people and fill your life with events and fun. However, if you scrupulously document your every move online just in the hope that the "ex" or his friends will see how well you are living, then in fact you continue to keep yourself within the framework of this relationship – which, alas, no longer exists.

Understand that it's okay to go out, meet friends, and go on dates. But immediately after that, running to the computer, changing statuses and marking yourself in photos is a bit silly, and in any case, demonstrative.
Of course, it's impossible to completely stop being active on social media, but you can always control it. Just stop using them to communicate about anything personal for a while.

Rule number 3: Never text him.

At some point after the breakup, you will be overwhelmed by a wave of emotions and you will realize that you miss him. You may even begin to forget what caused the breakup, or even begin to think that the reasons that seemed so weighty until recently are actually not worth a damn. And all these mixed feelings can lead to making a big mistake.

Earlier, when mobile phones were only dreamed of by individual science fiction writers, some girls, drunk for courage, could dial the number of their "ex" to have a heart–to-heart conversation, but they needed a certain amount of courage - after all, they had to hear his voice on the phone and say something intelligible. Now there are mobile phones and an SMS service, which is emotionally much less expensive than a call. Do you miss him? So quickly write a couple of lines in the message box and send it immediately.

Another thing is that the simplicity of sending SMS messages hides the danger of getting back on the emotional "swing." After all, you may not get a response, or it may seem too cold to you, and if you also have a habit of storing incoming messages, then you will worry about your rash act even longer.

The time when you want to write something to your ex is easy to calculate: an increased emotional background occurs as a result of taking strong drinks. So take precautions: for example, give your phone to a friend. If at some point you unbearably want to write a couple of lines to your former lover, then you will have to ask for the phone back, and during the hitch you may change your mind. Another trick: change your ex's name in the address book to the phrase: "Don't write to Him." This will be a kind of reminder that you should not send him an SMS, even though you strongly want to do so.

What should I do if he sends you an SMS himself? On the one hand, I don't want to ignore him, but on the other, I absolutely don't want to give a reason for closer communication. Of course, the answer depends on what was written in his text message, but the general advice is to be friendly, but don't hint at more. Write something like, "Great to write that. Sorry, I'm busy right now, I'll answer later."By doing so, you will unobtrusively let him know that you don't have time for him right now. After that, you can finally focus on yourself and move on with your life. spinaura